I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sobbing to NWA
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
