3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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