is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
