Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
