what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
