I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
