Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
