I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i think im in europe. pls send help
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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