I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
only you would photoshop your dick
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
