She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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