I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sorry about my life...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
