When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I need a burrito and a hug.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
