oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize