I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
