Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think i got beer on your cat.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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