So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
