i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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