ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
