Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
