i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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