Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
this will be a night to untag.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
