He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Couch. On fire.
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