Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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