Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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