bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
