He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
