Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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