I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
4 words: hood of his car
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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