remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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