My room smells like vodka and shame
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
