Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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