Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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