apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
