nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
