He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
