Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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