do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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