it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
