Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize