Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
