What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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