2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
