Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
