Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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