just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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