i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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