he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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