just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
