all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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