but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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