just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
