either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize