ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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