i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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