Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
