I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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