so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
