But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
