so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
