I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize